New beginning part two....What now?

Last time we left off I was diving into the journey to health and healing. If anyone has started the journey to health and regaining your life you know it will NOT be as easy as it seems. Someone close to me gave me a firm warning that once you decide to do this...people will turn from you!!

I mean with slander your name, disgrace you, call you a fraud, deformation of character, and sooo much more. I mean GURL...the trails will get even harder than you expected.

I made a firm decision then to give it some time to really think about what I was about to embark on. After about a week or so and some major shifts in my personal life my decision was made...

I WAS ALL IN!!! I figured that it could not get any worse.  LIES YOU TELL!! 

I had not a clue that the next set of events would rock my world to my knees and I would get tested in ways that would kill many. I have never been that girl to run from a challenging situation and I always tried to stay calm but this....

What happens next threw me back so hard I really contemplating hurting myself...getting a lawyer...quitting working out...suing folks...and coming off the grid. Guys I mean I have NEVER in my 39 years of life ever contemplated my existence.

But......

See next blog💋💋💋💋

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New Beginnings....My truth

Well another blog day and another way to be creative...

This is the post you all been waiting on...

2020 has truly shown me what my life could be and how I was fucking it up with the decisions I was making. Now to the outside looking in...everything seemed fine but you could not be more wrong.

November of 2018 proved to be the revelation I would get but ignored it because I chose not to listen but I never realize that 2019 would be filled with unexpected changes, lots of tears, harsh reality, and my focused being altered...FOREVER!

For me the life I was living was one that I thought was finally the one that I earned. I finally found my footing in my personal life, my femme drag career, and my work but in the words of Tamar Braxton...the only one out to lunch was ME!

Late November hit....I left Austin drag festival feeling on the top of the world and once the holidays came around everything changed. I've never felt soo much hate. Didn't think people could be sooo cruel. Yes I'm talking about my body...I had just started my weight loss journey before I left so I had not made any progress as of that date. It was horrible.

Then....it hits...The drama

Now I know your saying...get to the juicy stuff girl.

And I will....in next weeks blog...

Stay tuned..

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Two years...A lot has changed

Well....well...well...Welcome Back!

Its been two years and that's fault. I allowed many people to dictate my life and what I shared with the world.

NO MORE!!!!

So much has changed!!!

I must say that placing all my business on front street within this blog will not be the norm but I will NOT shy away from real life events even if that includes my own trials, drama, weight loss struggle, and MEN issues either. I'm an open book!

This blog has always been about expressing myself freely without fear of judgement or feeling like I have to back track when I stand on what I feel is right.

(In my opinion and view!)

I am in the process of revamping everything in my life and you see the transformation within these blogs. 2020 has pretty much been turned upside down and my personal world is no exception. Nothing is off limits...and I will NOT bite my tongue.

Many will come for me on...

What I choose to say..names I chose to mention...my new views on certain situations but I do not care. I have taken some much needed time to pray, readjust, and prioritize what I want and desire. The days of catering to others people needs are OVER!!!

Again for the people who do not listen well...OVER!

Welcome to me...Pintsizediva...

Its hard to be me...THE REVAMP!

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Stages of loneliness...Which one are you?

In life we do not realize that as we get older, our kids grow up, and we work hard each day that many things change. That includes our feelings about certain topics and relationship with people we encounter everyday.

I find myself at age 38 feeling alone, being alone, and just being plain lonely these days and sometimes I do not understand it all. At this time I am blessed with a job, a college child, and someone who loves me yet I feel a little more empty each day. Who am I? Why did I waste so many years putting others need above my own? Do people look at me as a complete failure? What do I do now?

So many questions and so little answers at this time!

What gets me is many women feel the way I do but is so scared to open up and say it. It has become a stigma to be open and transparent in our lives, social media, and with the people who "allegedly" care about you. When you express yourself people call it being weak and folks will prey on you being vulnerability. Or someone will use your honesty against you to chastise how you feel. To eradicate the notion that you are just expressing your uniquely beautiful self you have to hold everything in and pray that they will leave you alone and move on. Many women go through this but is too scared to open up. I am not one of those women!

Let's face facts!!!
I am always in someones conversation even when I am not in the room or even more so on the property. I am extremely transparent because I have spend too many years being quiet and holding all my emotions in. Many tell me that this will be used against me in future endeavors and sometimes I wish they would so I can continue to share and speak up for those who is too scared to do so.

For me, if I touch and inspire one person a day to be real in all facets then my daily job is done. What I am learning that the only acceptance I need is God! I have spent too many years caring about how people see me!
Yes I am broken! Yes I am not perfect in any capacity! Yes I need work! But who doesn't?

I get tired of seeing people live like they have it all but one jump away from snapping. Who wants to live their life that way so others wont know...( Not this one!) Please remove the veil of ignorance!
In this thing we call life we are craving authenticity and realness!We have been taught that being fake and phony is the new norm! It is shown in reality television, social media, magazines, and so many other places the new generation think this is the way to go. No one wants to work hard, keep God as a continuous fixture in the home, let things happen when it is meant for you, and just rush the process.

Lets break that wall down!!!

Sad & Angry people....Are they really sad or a freaking joke?

As I have grown I have learned that everyone that crosses your path is not meant to be in it forever! As a person who loves hard, gives hard, ride or die for life, and so much more this concept was hard for me to understand because I was always taught that if you be the best you can be it will come back to you.       

I sometimes wonder...

Why do people feel like they are better than you? Why do folks tend to think they know you?
The funny part is everyone has issues but... because they look down on you its makes them feel better and not confront their own existence.

Hell nawl folks.....Hell No!

For the past couple of months I have been attempting to see the great in people but everyday I am fighting a loosing battle with this concept.I grew up in the church and I was taught that no matter what happens in your life you are love.
If feels like everyone who started out being your cheerleader has become your enemy. Someone who chose to not be woman or man enough to say the shit in my face is freaking joke. I have never understood that freaking concept either. If you don't like me then act like you never met me and do not mention my name. Instead you want to talk snack and speak out of line when it comes to me and my life.
I have news for a lot of you....I AM NOT FREAKING SLOW!

I know you speak negatively about me, I know you are waiting for my demise, I know you do not have a freaking life of your own so you choose to come for mines, I know you did not think I would amount to anything but an teenage mother, maybe on drugs, with a ton of bad ass kids, no future, single and whoring in these streets, never advancing in my drag career, always staying fat so you can shame me and so much more....SORRY PEEPS!!!! I am so much better than that!!!

I was someone before I became a mother...I was someone before I became Anastasia Love, I was someone before I won a national title, I was someone walking in fashion shows, booking commercials and movies, I was someone when you needed me, I was someone that when I didn't have a dime to my name and I freaking helped you through, I was someone when you didn't have a place to stay, your man was whooping your ass and I risked my life to save you and your kids, and
I was someone when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and starting working out..

I will ALWAYS be someone!!!! I am MORE than a conquer!!!

Lets be honest many people will read this and feel like I am talking about certain people.

If you want to grasp on to that then...Do You!! If that helps you stir up drama that I want no parts of!

But remember....you are not the only person in my life I have had to ignore, confront, and say something about. I have had these issues before you and they will continue as long as I am trying everyday to thrive and get better.

I write, express myself in my blogs, and pray to keep from whooping some folks--REAL TALK!

Hmmmm ...Now your in your feelings and posting cryptic messages on social media....then stop talking about me and everyone else for that matter! Let this madness stop for once! Find the joy in your life and roll with that. Everyone is on a different income bracket, job level, drag level, career level, school level, marital level, and lifestyle level...STOP JUDGING FOLKS!

All I want is joy and happiness and with the way people are leaving here this is the wrong time to hold on to drama! Let it go! If you do not talk to me ever again..I accept that but please know this is not the end for me. I will continue to wish you many blessings even if you spite me, I will continue to attempt to be the tanesha I can be, and I will continue to pray to my God for covering over your life. I refuse to go down because I am holding on to what you did to me!

In closing...I forgive you!

Drag...A real perspective...From ME!!!

Greetings and salutations to all of you!!

Welcome back to my blog! I don't get a chance to blog as much as I would like but here goes....

Well since I gave up my title it has been its slow motion lately. Which I am okay with because in the crazy world called drag anything can happen! Would I like to be booked more...ABSOLUTELY! 

So its been an interesting ride for me and so much happened in my life in 2017 that I didn't realize how freaking busy I really was until I slowed down.

I will have to admit that after I stepped down from American National Star I felt a ton of pressure to get right into the pageant swing of things. I was receiving emails, direct messages, phone calls, and so much more and it really got to me. Pageants are super expensive and to those that can do it every month or every weekend..(MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU!)

Everyone wants to do pageants and win the crown but no one wants to do the work in to truly reign. I see how people will do a pageant one weekend but the next month the phone is off, lights off, no food, and barely a place to stay. After seeing all of this I made myself a promise that would NOT be me!

Because of that...I have made the decision not to compete for any pageant this year! I want to be able to afford everything on my own without no assistance. And if i was to have a benefit it would be extra not the majority of my package! Yes, I have been scouting some pageant systems ..if the financing is right you might see me! ( So step your pussy game up...I might be coming!!!) The key word is MIGHT...lmao

What I have learned about this thing called drag is...ITS SO DIFFERENT! You do shows, benefits, and stand up for things you believe in and stand firm in. And when people take things out of context you get a huge target on your back and before you know it....You cannot book nothing!

Its interesting that one minute your in...the next minute your out!

People have things to say about you and you even mess with that like that! I used to wonder why people have things to say about me and what I am doing. So glad I got over that mess! So glad I grew up!

But I am so grateful that I have a strong team and a very outspoken mommie that keeps me in check. I would have fallen for the bull sugar if it was not for her guidance and her hand on my career! I have learned it is okay not to retaliate back when things are said.

If its not affecting the bag...I am good! 

Wishing all my haters blessings and pray you find God and fix your issues!

If I could give any new entertainers it would be...Be build ford tough because the world will chew you up and spit you out. Do not drink on your show nights,keep your money near you at all time or find somewhere to hide it ( everybody is not honest!), cherish the real friends and relationship dearly!

It happens to each performer differently so I can only speak for me! 

Do you feel like your doing things solo?

In life we feel like we have family and friends that will carry us into the next level in our lives but in reality we are doing things solo.

When you think people love and care for you that ride with you...your doing things solo.

When the world gets real cold and your heart turns cold with it...your doing things solo

Late in the midnight hour and your in a dark place...you would think someone would help you out..your doing things solo...

I disagree...your walking into strength, determination, drive, love, hope, perseverance, independence, and motivation...

Your depending on God and God alone...
Your learning that everyone that smiles in your face doesn't really want you to be great!

Get Up!!!! Take the bull by the horn and MOVE!!!!

I tell you these things because this was me a few months ago!! I got up and I am learning!!!

Happy Easter...Happy April...Love is life...Life is Love!

Working out..Its hard

Happy day party peoples!!!!

Here I come with the interesting dialog and gag worthy conversation piece.

Working out?????

Why they don't tell you that your body will become so sore that it would be super difficult to stay focused? Why don't they tell you that a weeks worth of healthy food costs more than some people buy a month?

For example...if your not eating healthy you can buy a weeks worth of foods for under 65 dollars if you budget well for a single person...100 for a family of three ( trust me I was doing this for years before I changed) and 150 for a family of five if your lucky.

Now I spend almost $200 dollars at the grocery store every two weeks...( With coupons!!!) without coupons it would be almost $300 dollars.

HOT MESS EXPRESS!

I say all of this to tell you to stay focused and keep going. If you can go drink at the bar, go out to each with your girlfriends, get your hair, nails, feet, and everything else done you can eat better and work out.  Not judging but I had to do a reality check as well!

Personally I have cut back a whole back to get healthier. My goal is to be half of my body weight by 40 years old. And I am 37 right now!!!

I'll keep you updated as I go through the up and downs of this thing called weight loss!!!

Xoxo....pintsizedivamodel

Happy New year!!!

Hello everyone!!!!

Happy New year and it's cold !!!!!!

So I  decided to do something I never do...i stayed my behind at the house for New Years!!!!

So I am attempting to be a more positive in my space I'm trying 365 days of positive speaking. One of you peeps pray for me!

I've been going to the gym five days a week for a month and Jesus Christ it has been a journey. I'm working with a trainer and I have learned I work harder than I thought.

So here is how my life goes...
Monday and wednesday... zumba &cardio
Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturdays...
Swim training and leg workouts!

Fridays...train at home
Sundays...im off

The goal is to be half of my body weight by 40 years old. And I am 37 now so you get the point. I will make a strong attempt to keep you updated.
Since I don't have any bookings I have a little more time to do so.

I'm going to end it here because I have class. Happy New year everyone and stay safe!

Pride week!!!!

Happy pride Memphis!!!!!

I can't believe it's here!!!!

This is going to be sooo much fun. I'm so excited for this weekend and you should be too. I'm a ally but I feel so connected and loved!

Come out and enjoy yourself.

I am one of the grand marshals and I'm super nervous about it. To all those that voted for me...
THANKS GUYS!!!!

IT'S sooo many things going on this weekend...
Get out the house....have fun...enjoy this thing called LIFE...

Now I'm not a queen....whats poppin

Hello everyone!!!

So much is going on in my world that I feel like I've put you guys to the side...

I'M SORRY!

Let me catch you up on my life in what I call..

Wild out wednesday...busy edition lol

My pageant step down was absolutely calming and I'm so blessed to have had the opportunity to do something different. I would not change anything regardless to the good,bad, and ugly as hell. I met so many people during my reign and I was able to accomplish a whole lot!

Since I've stepped down I have thrown a benefit for Houston,Tx, done some shows, attending a wedding and started filming a web series called "All the tea with Anastasia and me"

Sounds like I didn't slow down don't it...
Apparently I didn't but for me this is slow! When your used to 16 hours days on set, 10 hours on photo shoots, working three jobs, and holding down a house....this is light lol

Forgive me....but I'm goal driven!!!

I learned that opportunities like these don't come along everyday...so take advantage because when your season is done....THATS IT!

I'm learning that everyone isn't your friend, won't be your cheerleader, will say things behind your back and smile in your face, will sabotage you, and will steal your shit!!!! Drag has taught me to establish thick as fuck skin!!!
Because I love and give so hard of my heart and time it was hard to disconnect.

Now I'm in this new phase of my life im not stopping my grind. It might not be in drag or performing as a femme entertainer or a pageant girl but I want to stay busy and consistent.

Many might not like it...thats not my fault!

I can only be me..Hard working and strong.

What's next for me at this time...
I'll tell ya...

I'm going to honor my commitments prior to my step down and if new things come to me i will take time to decide what's best for me. Until then....

The journey....almost over!

Greetings people and new subscribers!

This femme queen was extremely busy lately...

I have to go on record and say that it has been a very electrifying year for me. I have been blessed enough to travel all over and perform,meet so many new people, volunteer my time towards amazing causes, and sooo much more.

As my reign is slowly coming to a close and I prepare to crown a new bio/femme queen I reflect on all the experiences I have had and how much it has changed me as a person and as a woman.
Never thought that my life would come full circle.

Its amazing!

Cant wait to meet and crown the new woman to take on this amazing journey...

Is it you????

April 30th at Club Majestic will tell the story...

I'm back

Well hello peoples...

I took a loooooonnnngggggg break to get my life but now I'm back and in living color!
Sooo...what can I share...
I started performing in drag clubs, got laid, child has a boyfriend, got a good job and have a gaggle of new friends! My life is full...

Can't wat to share my new life with each of you...

Stay tuned!

Reality.....sometimes it sucks

This will probably be the most honest I will ever be on my blog site so if you get offended please stop reading now....................

I had no idea once you turn 30 that your life sometimes comes full circle...( Somewhat!)

i have spent so much of my life pleasing others, staying stressed out, emotionally eating my life away and so much more that now I am paying for it.

Over the past couple of months I have seriously been going through an emotional roller coaster and I have been horrified to talk about it. I am in tears writing this!!!

But when i take a step back how can I be a blessing to someone else and say i want to inspire others and don't share my own life with you. 

Well here goes...

I discovered a weird feeling in my left breast a couple of weeks ago. The first thing i did was went blank! I didn't know what to say or feel so i did what most women tend to do first...IGNORED IT!

Not recommended by the way....but I did it!

But after several conversations, prayer, lots of tears ( And i cry a lot!!!) , and after speaking with my daughter i decided to make a call to go get checked. I do not want anyone to have "A cry for me Argentina moment" for me cause I beat myself up every moment of the day..

I feel so alone but there are so many women that face this every day.

But i think i will be okay...

If i can leave anything with women and young girls...

Please get checked and take care of yourself!!! I wish i would have done it sooner now I'm super depressed cause i feel so alone.

Forgive me if i don't call, text, come out or even get online because i refuse to bring my tears and mini depression on others. 

I thank god that I came to my senses. Like i always say...make a difference in the world and inspire others in your life cause you never know...

The emotional and physical struggle begins......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One love.....Tanesha

Separation.....

As a mother I never thought that I would be in the position I am in now. I DO NOT HAVE A LIFE!

For years I have always put my daughter’s needs in front of my own. Giving up college so I can be more attentive to her well being, changing a secure job so I can be home more and experience all the things I’ve missed, and going back to situation that’s not conducive to my life to give her structure. 

But as I sit here alone as she is on vacation I realize just how unaccomplished and dependent I am on my teenage child.

I know….I know you might clown me or have so many things to say but until you get to this place in your life….DONT JUDGE ME!

What I don’t get is….how did I get here?

I used to be the fun person…the girl everyone wanted to hang with and knew all the hot spots

I always lived my life after she was taken care of but over the past couple of years it’s like my life has stopped. Honestly every time I try to plan or do anything I get this sense of overwhelming gilt in my heart. I spend a lot of time crying now and looking back over my life. 

Sometimes I wish I would have continued to work three jobs so I would not have to think about the loneliness.

As you read this you might say since she is a teenager you can do more but I don’t feel that way. My thought is this is when they need you the most. Think about it!!

If you have a girl child… you got teenage sex, sneaking out, sexting, social media, self-masturbation, making sure she knows how to be her own woman and so much more.

If you have a boy child…. You got the stigmation of all black boys don’t amount to anything, gangs, the police (that’s another blog in itself), sex, completing school, and for the single moms making sure he knows he is loved in spite of.

With these things and so much more in mind it’s a lot of pressure

 I am curious…does this feeling ever go away? 

Spectrum.....the hidden hot spot

O..M...G...

If you have not been to Club Spectrum Memphis then you have truly been missing something.

From the all star drag show on Saturday nights, the open floor night on Fridays, to the super turned up atmosphere it is everything you can ask for. You feel welcome no matter which way your mind runs!

The performers are amazing!!!
Jade Porchett - Stunningly beautiful and show stopper
Freak Nasty - raw, surprising, and lovely
Iris Lefluer - just true a true diva!
Demonica Santangilo -An amazing dancer and will draw you in instantly!!
Jr.Stone - the host of all hosts....overthetop.com in a good way
Alaska Casadine - such a class act and so much more!!!
Aubrey Boom Boom - super nice, amazing performer, and approachable
Will Rider - The crowd favorite
The owner... Stephanie is super humble, eager to talk to, and will shake your hand and take pictures

The drinks are super good and on Saturday nights its this cute sexy guy in underwear walking around selling shots and....HE IS CUTE!!! Lol


What i like the most about Club Spectrum is that you don't have to run for your life due to ghetto fights and hot mess people. Everyone just do them and love to have fun! I personally recommend you come and see why I chose to patronize their business and get messed up!

I have added some hot pics from the many times I have been there and will continue to go back.

Major photography credit to Jack Rock Photography!!! ( Your so professional and an all around amazing person!!)

Follow them on all social media outlets:

Instagram and Twitter: SpectrumMemphis
Facebook: Spectrum Memphis or Memphis Marshall
Website: www.spectrumdanceclub.com
Jack Rock Photography on Facebook

Sometimes I wonder

Has anyone really considered how they live their lives
lately. I do!!

Thats why I took time away! Please know that the day you start becoming comfortable is when you will NEVER grow. That is exactly what happened to me.

In my darkest hour,in comfort zone, in the peak of what I thought was great it all fell apart and came crashing down on me.
I always pride myself on being real and true....
And I will continue to so do..

Im back....back to work, back to the grind, back to what I love...

Modeling,writing,working harder, and loving me!

Take my advice...
Balance your life and pray daily before god shows you how runs it!!!

Why wasn't I warned?

For my ladies that are thirty years old and over please tell me....

"Why wasn't I warned?"

Is the normal to be all in your feelings and don't know why?

Do your sex drive leaves you or continues to intensify?

How come your emotions change by the moment?

Did you light bulb moment happen yet?

Why you start to look at your friends, family, and relationships differently?

You feel unsatisfied and cannot figure out why?

Think that your too fat or too skinny?

Unsatisfied with your current job?


I know for me some of these things got" me" written all over it but for some its not this way.

The changes women go through once they hit their thirties is unreal !!!!

 I wish it was a handbook to this mess!!!

Real Talk!!!

I just hope that once you go through this that you didn't stress people out with all the changes..

Good luck ladies and don't you always wanna say...

Why wasn't I warned about all this???


Follow me on social media for all new contents"

Twitter; @thicknesstn10       Instagram: pintsizedivamodel16
YouTube: seductivewoman08

Election....the day after

I have been voting now for a long time and i must say...

I am sick and tired of some of the mess that politicians pull before voting begins.

To be honest, i am not surprised that people are not super pissed by the way the government is treating the voters and even more the president.

I have never seen so much disrespect for our president in my entire life.

I understand if your views are different but allow this man to do his job. He came into mess

Understanding the new dating world

I used to wonder why women would say they want to stay single...

With this new way of dating...Shit!!!..... ill be single for life

Let me explain....

I have encountered many men that say the following junk..

" I having fun but we can still have sex"

" I'm doing me right now....we can just kick it"

"I'm not looking for a relationship but...
" I got too much going on for a relationship"

All I got to ask is....what the fuck is this about?

There are some good men and women in the world!
 Because you are being guarded and got some slick pimp game going on you are letting a potential long term mates go away.

People are not taking under consideration that dating is so different now and you have to be really careful who you let into your circle.Some will keep you around to benefit their career,wallet, a warm place to lay or to get money out of you. Few will make it past the first level if you stay aware and safe.

I got some small tips for figuring out if that person is truly there for you...
Disclaimer: These are my views only....take it how you like!

1. Tell that person you are practicing celibacy and see how different the conversation go
2. Be extremely honest about your intentions ( some will be afraid to believe you due to your honesty)
3. Tell a person that you are currently unemployed. ( these days some are seeking someone to take care of them! Don't let that be you!!
4. Do not tell anyone your on social media! ( people have a tendency to look people up without truly having a face to face conversation with them.
5. If your curious...do a background check! ( Only after three months or if they have been around your kids.
6.Do not have overnight dates!!!  Its cuffing season!!! Do not become that person they lean on cause its about to get cold
7. Lastly...ask the person when was the last time they have been tested for all diseases. ( People gets real up and arms about this question but they are willing to tell you and provide proof it shows they care about their life as well..


Dating in 2014 is not the easiest thing but I'm sure with a little more precaution you will be just fine!